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Charlie's Page
JUST A FEW WORDS ABOUT WHAT IS HAPPENING IN MY WORLD.
Friday, January 23, 2004
This morning I woke up happy because, for two nights in a row,
I slept for seven straight hours. (This happens once a month.)
Wednesday, January 21, 2004
I just re-read this post after writing it a couple of days ago. It should be re-written but good writing is hard work!
Over the weekend, the sun came out. It didn't get much warmer here but it did evaporate most of the snow on the ground so that it was possible to go riding. I rode too far! Since I hadn't been on a long ride in a long time, I was absolutely exhausted coming back. It should have only taken me an hour and forty-five minutes to return but it took 2:45. Oh the aches! Poor, poor pitiful me! ;) But at least the ride out was really nice - and fun.
JOKES -
A Sunday school teacher asked her children, as they were on the way to
church service, "And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?"
One bright little girl replied, "Because people are sleeping."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A father was at the beach with his children when the four- year-old son ran
up to him, grabbed his hand, and led him to the shore where a seagull lay
dead in the sand. "Daddy, what happened to him?" the son asked.
"He died and went to Heaven," the Dad replied.
The boy thought a moment and then said,
"Did God throw him back down?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A wife invited some people to dinner. At the table, she turned to their
six-year-old daughter and said, "Would you like to say the blessing?"
"I wouldn't know what to say," the girl replied.
"Just say what you hear Mommy say," the wife answered.
The daughter bowed her head and said,
"Lord, why on earth did I invite all these people to dinner?"
Wackiest Warning Labels Ever
Warning on a bottle of drain cleaner: "If you do not understand, or cannot read, all directions, cautions and warnings, do not use this product."
That warning is the first place winner of the 2004 Wacky Warning Label Contest. The Michigan Lawsuit Abuse Watch, a group whose goal is to show that the fear of frivolous lawsuits has led to a loss of corporate common sense, sponsors the annual contest for the wackiest warning labels.
"Wacky warning labels are a sign of our lawsuit-plagued times," Robert B. Dorigo Jones, president of the nonprofit Michigan Lawsuit Abuse Watch group, said in the news release announcing the contest winners. "It used to be that if someone spilled coffee in their lap, they simply called themselves clumsy. Today, too many people are calling themselves an attorney."
Second place: On a snow sled: "Beware: sled may develop high speed under certain snow conditions."
Third place: On a 12-inch-high storage rack for compact discs: "Do not use as a ladder."
Fourth place: A 5-inch fishing lure with three nasty steel hooks advises it is "Harmful if swallowed." Too bad fish can't read!
Previous winners in the "Wacky Warning Label Contest" are presented here for your amusement and amazement:
A warning on an electric router made for carpenters cautions, "This product not intended for use as a dental drill."
A warning label found on a baby stroller cautions the user: "Remove child before folding."
A bottle of prescription sleeping pills says, "Warning: May cause drowsiness."
A sticker on a toilet at a public facility in Ann Arbor, Michigan actually warns: "Recycled flush water unsafe for drinking."
A CD player carries this unusual warning: "Do not use the Ultradisc2000 as a projectile in a catapult."
An "Aim-n-Flame" fireplace lighter cautions, "Do not use near fire, flame, or sparks."
A label on a hand-held massager advises consumers not to use "while sleeping or unconscious."
A container of underarm deodorant says, "Caution: Do not spray in eyes."
A cartridge for a laser printer warns, "Do not eat toner."
A household iron warns users: "Never iron clothes while they are being worn."
A label with a hair dryer reads, "Never use hair dryer while sleeping."
A 13-inch wheel on a wheelbarrow warns: "Not intended for highway use."
A cardboard car sunshield that keeps sun off the dashboard warns, "Do not drive with sunshield in place."
A bathroom heater says: "This product is not to be used in bathrooms."
A can of self-defense pepper spray warns users: "May irritate eyes."
A warning on a pair of shin guards manufactured for bicyclists says: "Shin pads cannot protect any part of the body they do not cover."
A popular manufactured fireplace log warns: "Caution: Risk of Fire."
A box of birthday cake candles says: "DO NOT use soft wax as ear plugs or for any other function that involves insertion into a body cavity."
"Do not use snow blower on the roof."
"Do not allow children to play in the dishwasher."
Tuesday, January 20, 2004
WARNING
There is a new virus going around called the Beagle or Bagle virus. If you get a message with
"hi" or "test :)"
in the subject line and an attachment -
DO NOT OPEN THE ATTACHMENT!!!!!
It is approximately 22K big.
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